Review: Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

“Ollie Di Fiore. Master of his feelings, expert detacher, only mostly devastated.”

Ollie meets Will during his summer holiday, and they fall in love. When summer ends, Ollie is prepared to go back to California, but fate has other plans for him. The reason why he stays in North Carolina is not a good one, but at least he can be with Will, right?

Only Mostly Devastated is not just the next queer coming-of-age novel, it is a book about major obstacles that will make your life—no matter if you are a teenager or a grown-up— hell on earth. Ollie is prepared to pack to go home to California when his mother tells him that his aunt’s health is getting worse and that his parents have decided to stay nearby and help however they can.

His aunt has always supported him and accepted him the way he is, of course he will do anything for her. Ollie starts to go to Collinswood High and is over the moon when he sees Will on his first day. He had not expected to see him there, because Will lives in the town next to his. But Will is not the sweet guy Ollie fell in love with during summer, he is the next big basketball star and so not queer.

With his broken heart, Ollie starts to take care of his two little cousins in the afternoon while his aunt is undergoing her treatments, but he cannot get Will out of his head. Little does he know that Will cannot stop about thinking about Ollie as well…

As the book description promises, it really more modern twist on Grease. The famous guy at school being a jerk, while in fact he is a sensible young man whose wish is to help others and becoming a nurse instead of a great basketball player, which everyone is expecting him to be one day. But how can he tell everyone that he is bisexual and does not care about any sport scholarship? He could not live with the rejection and disappointment, so better play it cool and force himself to bury his true self.

It’s still sad that coming out of the closet is still an issue and people should not be afraid of being who they are, and we should accept each other the way we are.

In flashbacks, we see the Will that Ollie carries with him in his heart. As the story evolves, Will and Ollie find a new way to build a relationship with a happy end possibly waiting for them.

To live in the moment and to not fear what might happen is the beautiful message of this book and not just when it comes to these love birds who must find their way to each other in a new environment.

“I mean, I knew about death, obviously, but it had always been in the abstract. Now it felt startlingly real. Real people I knew would die. All of us. Every real person I knew would die.

And I would die, too.

One day, I would see the last thing I was ever going to see. And the next day, someone would release a song I’d never hear. […] But the idea of just being here, and then not being here, and the world not really caring that I was gone was so … it just … it made me feel hollow.”

What started as a side story, it’s actually a major part of the book. When Ollie’s aunt’s health gets worse every day, the family becomes closer. and Ollie tries to distract and entertain his little cousins the best he can. Will, who knows about his family situation, offers him help despite his previous behaviour. There is light in every negative situation, or so they say.

Sophie Gonzales focuses on the character development and the really story behind the story: reflecting on how people cope with loss and the possibility of near death and grief.

Only Mostly Devastated will not sugar coat life for its readers and that is fine. We all wish for a comforting story to escape reality; I know I do. But to get a reminder that reality can does have its bad moments can be good as well, especially when it reminds you as well that life is a rollercoaster of the good and the bad and the world will continue to turn, even if we don’t wan it to. We cannot do anything about it but learn to cope with whatever life is throwing our way.

Only Mostly Devastated is available from Amazon, Book Depository, and other good book retailers as of March 3rd 2020.

Synopsis | Goodreads

SIMON VS. THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA meets CLUELESS in this boy-meets-boy spin on GreaseSummer love…gone so fast.

Ollie and Will were meant to be a summer fling—casual, fun, and done. But when Ollie’s aunt’s health takes a turn for the worse and his family decides to stay in North Carolina to take care of her, Ollie lets himself hope this fling can grow to something more. Dreams that are crushed when he sees Will at a school party and finds that the sweet and affectionate (and comfortably queer) guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High.

Will is more than a little shocked to see Ollie the evening of that first day of school. While his summer was spent being very much himself, back at school he’s simply known as one of the varsity basketball guys. Now Will is faced with the biggest challenge of his life: follow his heart and risk his friendships, or stay firmly in the closet and lose what he loves most.